35 weeks

35 weeks down only 35 days to go (or even fewer than that now). I caught a glance of myself in a mirror in a department store this weekend and I didn't recognize my belly. Looking down it doesn't look so big, but from the side I look pretty large. I'm starting to get comments from people about my size:

"Wow, that must be a big baby, if you still have another month."
to Lily: "Looks like you're going to have another baby around REALLY soon!"
And I've noticed women sympathetically (I hope) touching their stomachs as they walk past me. I guess I'm getting large.

I've gained 30 lbs so far. It's about average to gain 1 lb/week at this point which would put me right at 35 lbs, which is what I gained with Lily and what's the upper limit of the normal range the experts tell you is OK to gain. So I guess I'm OK with that. I wouldn't feel terrible if I gained a little over the 35 lb "limit". I've been going to my prenatal yoga class every Saturday pretty religiously lately. There was a stretch where I didn't go for a while because I was really congested and then a few classes ended up being canceled. I find yoga difficult if I can't breathe normally or it doesn't end up being enjoyable anyway. Although I can say it's getting pretty difficult overall at this point. The poses that are inverted at all (like downward facing dog or dolphin) are particularly uncomfortable because they get my heartburn going. I found myself ended those poses earlier just because I can feel the stomach acid start to rise--not pleasant. Other than that my exercise is limited to chasing Lily, which is a workout many days. I find that after her weekly gymnastics class I'm just as tired as she is and ready for a nap. Lifting 30+ lbs up on balance beams, up to bars, doing the hokey pokey and honestly just being on my feet for 45 minutes is pretty cardiovascular. Doing anything with an extra 30 lbs on my frame plus a 30 lb toddler is pretty tiring actually.

My body is definitely preparing for birth. I feel contractions frequently, probably hourly and sometimes more. If I'm out running errands to multiple places they start up. If I drive over a bump in the road=contraction. Last night I thought I might need to call the doctor because they actually started to get painful. I followed one of the midwife's recommendations and peed, drank a lot of water and laid down on my side and they went away pretty quickly. I had been sitting so I didn't think it would do much, but it seemed to work. I can also feel the aches and pains of my ligaments and bones loosening up to let this baby out. I guess I should be thankful, especially since the pains I'm feeling now aren't anything compared to actual labor, and this loosening should make the delivery easier. It is weird to feel actual pain in my pelvic bones though.

The baby is extremely active. Her head is down and ready to go so her legs are up in my ribs pushing around. She also gets the hiccups pretty frequently so I get simultaneous, rhythmic bumps in the top and bottom of my uterus for a couple minutes. I also feel elbows and knees sticking out frequently. I feel like she's very antsy and just can't get comfortable so she keeps adjusting and adjusting trying to get everything just right. You can see this all from the outside too. Lily is very concerned about what her little sister is doing. She likes to bring up everything she knows about a topic whenever it comes up, so when we talk about the baby she always says, "Baby kicks mommy's tummy. Owie. Baby born soon."

I realized recently that I haven't done a lot to prepare for the baby's arrival. I haven't bought a lot or gotten things organized much. We did purchase a new double-stroller that I'm pretty pleased with. It's one of the "sit and stand" varieties (although not that brand), where there's a little jump seat on the back where Lily will be able to hitch a ride sitting or standing when the car seat isn't installed. So the plan is that Lily will sit in the front seat when the baby is small and still in the infant car seat and when the baby is bigger it will sit in the front and Lily will have the back seat. It's a pretty cool design and it should work well for what we need it for. The side by side strollers are just too wide and the regular double strollers are super long; this is a good compromise for us.

Everything else is in progress. I have a list I'm working off of, which is a first step I guess. I've cleared space in Lily's dresser for some baby clothes and I'm pretty sure I know where all the baby items are in the basement. Now it's just a matter of getting things washed and put away and pulling out all those baby items to make sure there isn't anything we need to buy that I'm forgetting. There are a few minor things, like a baby monitor, that we never had for Lily but we saved all of her things so there's not much we need to get this time around. There's plenty of organizing to be done though. But at least the baby (and now Lily too) have a pediatrician all lined up (appointments and everything) and we're scheduled for a hospital tour so we know where to go and can get pre-registered.

I'm very much looking forward to my sister, Melody, and niece, Bella, arriving in less than a month now so I don't have to worry about going into labor without someone here to stay with Lily. Lily isn't allowed into the Labor and Delivery rooms so if we all have to go to the hospital, I'm on my own. Remembering back to Lily's birth, that wouldn't be a good thing. Thankfully we know people we could call if we were in a bind, but once my sister gets here everything will be much easier.

There are good parts, although as I approach the eventual birth, they seem less clear. I love being the only one that really knows this baby and that her and I share something that no one else can. That's the best part of pregnancy. I mostly enjoy feeling her move inside me and remind me that she's there waiting to meet us face to face. I often feel like she's tapping on my stomach just asking to come out. I love feeling like I'm shielding her from the outside world but I still often worry about her as I learn more about pregnancy and loss and know that nothing's certain at any stage of pregnancy. But I have these worries about Lily too, and Scott and myself, so that never really goes away. I am looking forward to this baby's birthday very much though. I'm definitely ready to meet her and find out who she is. I'm becoming less scared and nervous about the actual birth and even a little excited about it. I'm a little excited to labor again. It feels a little insane to even think that but I'm curious how it will be different or the same. I'm constantly amazed by women and how our bodies work and I am excited to experience that again--how (when given the chance--usually) everything just works. I hope that happens again this time and medications and interventions aren't necessary.

In front of "The Breakers", a Vanderbilt mansion, in Newport, RI at about 32 weeks.

Downtown Newport, RI with Daddy, Lily & Papa Jim.

"At-least-that's-not-a-maternity-fleece-I'm-busting-out of"--at the Cherry Blossom Festival in Wooster Square in New Haven

35 weeks, only 5 weeks to go!

How your baby's growing: Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

How your life's changing: Your uterus — which was entirely tucked away inside your pelvis when you conceived — now reaches up under your rib cage. If you could peek inside your womb, you'd see that there's more baby than amniotic fluid in there now. Your ballooning uterus is crowding your other internal organs, too, which is why you probably have to urinate more often and may be dealing with heartburn and other gastrointestinal distress. If you're not grappling with these annoyances, you're one of the lucky few.

From here on out, you'll start seeing your practitioner every week. Sometime between now and 37 weeks, she'll do a vaginal and rectal culture to check for bacteria called Group B streptococci (GBS). (Don't worry — the swab is the size of a regular cotton swab, and it won't hurt at all.) GBS is usually harmless in adults, but if you have it and pass it on to your baby during birth, it can cause serious complications, such as pneumonia, meningitis, or a blood infection. Because 10 to 30 percent of pregnant women have the bacteria and don't know it, it's vital to be screened. (The bacteria come and go on their own — that's why you weren't screened earlier in pregnancy.) If you're a GBS carrier, you'll get IV antibiotics during labor, which will greatly reduce your baby's risk of infection.

This is also a good time to create a birth plan. Using our form will help you focus on specifics — like who'll be present, what pain management techniques you want to try, and where you want your baby to stay after you deliver. It will give you a starting point to discuss your preferences with your medical team. Childbirth is unpredictable, and chances are you won't follow your plan to the letter, but thinking about your choices ahead of time — and sharing your preferences with your caregiver — should take some of the anxiety out of the process..

How I'm doing: I'm doing very well. It's very exciting to know that we're having a girl. We are very much ready to meet her now. We're feeling more pressure to have a name decided on now. We have a first name settled on so now we're just deciding what the middle name will be. We have 3 choices but we could still go with something completely different. We may wait until we see her to decide. And we're still not telling a soul. Surprisingly, I've been able to keep this a secret.

Our glider arrived at the baby store yesterday, so we'll be picking that up over the weekend and getting it set up. Scott really likes it and thinks it's really comfortable and I think he's going to try and take it over before the baby comes. If Tony were still with us I know he'd think it were his too.

I have one more biweekly appointment on April 1st and then I'll start seeing the midwives every week. They didn't mention the Group B strep test so that may or may not be happening at my next appointment. It's very important to me that I don't screen positive. If I do, I'll have to be hooked up to a continuous IV throughout labor which will mean a much less active labor and that in turn might make a medication-free birth more difficult. Many people say the worst position in labor is the one you've been in for the past 15 minutes so movement can be an important pain relief technique.

We have two remaining birth classes. I feel like we've learned a lot through this process and are well prepared for childbirth. I am not afraid at all even after watching many births on video and hearing many stories of difficult births. Learning more about birth, even talking about dealing with pain, makes me more excited to go through the process rather than scared. I think this will help me to relax; which I hope is the key to a less painful birthing process. But I'm not crazy and I still hope that I'm one of the luckier mothers who has less painful but still productive contractions, the baby moves into just the right position, and that her head isn't too big (although I hope all the DHA supplements I've been taking daily have helped her brain to develop well).

My last day of work is April 15th. Not too much longer to go.