39 weeks

I won't technically be 39 weeks until Friday, but at this point it's close enough. A week to go. It's been short and it's been long at the same time. I feel like I've always been pregnant, as I did with Lily, but I also can't believe the baby could be here any day. Or any minute really. I still feel unprepared. Our house is definitely unprepared. My sister doesn't arrive until Tuesday so I feel like my body will just hold on to the baby until she gets here and I can relax knowing Lily has someone here 24 hours/day if we needed to leave immediately. We have contingency plans but obviously having my sister here is a lot more convenient if I need to leave for the hospital at 2 in the morning. And I think it will be more reassuring for Lily to have some normalcy too. Although I'm pretty sure she would not mind hanging out with Avery one bit.

The house is not as prepared as it was for Lily's arrival. The freezer is full, but I'm not exactly sure with what. I know there are some meals in there and some partially-prepared meals--but I don't have a list with cooking instructions like I did last time. The baby clothes are in a giant pile next to the washing machine ready to go but not washed yet. As are all the covers and pads for things like bouncy seats and swings. The car seat is installed in the car so we will be allowed to take the baby home. But we don't have a single diaper in the house yet. These things are all on my list. Unfortunately the cold I've had for the past week has had poor timing and it's made preparations a little slower. I'm not sleeping well at all and I'm often up into the wee hours of the morning coughing uncontrollably. Unfortunately since the baby is so big, I can't really get a good cough and coughing itself makes all my stomach muscles contract which kind of hurts at this point. Once I can actually get to sleep, I don't sleep too terribly, until I have to pee, which also happens at least twice per night. But it's a small price to pay.

We visited one of the midwives in our group today for our weekly appointment. The baby's heartbeat was 132 bpm which is right on target for this age. The midwife said that the baby didn't feel like it was too big. She thought it was more like 8 lbs and only thought she was that big because she knew how big Lily was. As I look back at our visits at the end of Lily's pregnancy, the midwives also thought she was around 8 lbs but the last ultrasound we had predicted 8 lbs 12 oz (only 1 oz less than Lily was). So we'll see. I feel like she'll be at least as big as Lily. But I only have experience with 2 pregnancies not hundreds. My blood pressure was good today, so no worries there. In this practice they regularly check if I'm dilating from 37 weeks onward (I never got checked with Lily until I was in active labor). The previous two times they've checked me I was only a fingertip dilated, which is basically nothing. Today I was 1-2 cm, 60% effaced and very soft. So this is a pretty big change from last week and almost where I was the first time I went to the hospital about 5 or 6 hours before Lily was born (and contractions were 6 or so minutes apart). So clearly things are going to go quicker this time around. The midwife today thought everything would go about twice as fast as with Lily and would be twice as easy. Music to my ears.

The plan, like last time, is to avoid as many interventions as possible. They advised me today to stay at home as long as possible. This is a little tricky since we know Lily came pretty quickly last time (especially at the end) and this time should be faster. There's also the added dilemma that Lily will probably be at home with my sister and niece and probably won't really like seeing me in pain (she gets upset when the baby kicks me and I say "ow"). So we'll just see how things go. But from what I recall of my previous experience with labor there won't really be a way to hide the pain from her. But the later I arrive the few interventions I can expect. The simplest reason is there just won't be time to do a lot. Ideally I would love to arrive and start pushing almost right away but obviously that's hard to plan since I can't check myself and I don't want to birth a baby on the side of the road (which recently happened on a New Haven freeway). Yale-NH Hospital routinely gives everyone a shot of pitocin post-delivery. This is the same drug that's used to induce labor, but basically all it does is cause your uterus to contract (i.e. to simulate labor). This is also the same process that happens after delivery to get the uterus to release the placenta and to continue contracting to shrink the size of the uterus. It's something I'd rather not have just because it seems unnecessary to me (since I just delivered a baby my body is already making the natural hormones to do this and breastfeeding stimulates them even more).

Above all, I'm really excited to meet our baby. I'm excited to not be pregnant any more. I'm excited for my family to visit. I'm excited for Lily to be a big sister (and she's REALLY excited too). For now, I'm excited for those newborn days and the smells of a newborn baby (I hope my cold is gone so I can smell them). I'm excited for the tiny feet and hands and a constant cuddling companion. I'm really, really excited for our family to expand--and possibly be completed (?).

Large.

But Lily still likes to be held.